Like croutons in my salad,
Like sugar in my tea,
Like a sweater when its cold,
Is your love for me.
Like pickles in my sandwich,
Or a patchwork on my bed.
A sparkly, sunny winter’s day
Are the special things you’ve said.
Like sunset in the evening,
Like fireflies at dark,
The Aurora Borealis
Is how you hold my heart.
Dynamic, sweet and cozy,
Surprising warm and bright,
Beautiful, magical, awing,
Is your influence in my life.
“Be mindful” was my challenge. What is mindful? Why is it encouraged and even offered by strangers concerned for my wellbeing. “Be mindful of the traffic, the lights are out.” “Be mindful of the corner there, you may snag your sweater.”
Mindful… A mind full…of what?
Being mindful “informs your actions”, one person said. Being mindful puts you “in tune with others”, another offered. Being mindful creates a “peripheral awareness” so that what my mind is full of, spills over into everything I plan, do or attempt to do. Being mindful “governs life”.
“Be mindful of God for He is mindful of you”. I need to have my mind filled with God so that He informs my actions, keeps me in tune with Him and others. I need that peripheral awareness of Him that will spill over into everything I do and my mindful-ness of Him will govern everything I do.
But that is only half of the thought!
The other half is that God Is Mindful of Me!
If God is mindful of me, then His thoughts of me “inform His actions”! If being mindful, then God is in tune with my life and He isn’t put off by me. He likes me! If being mindful is a peripheral awareness so that everything done spills over into the benefit of the one of who God is mindful, then Psalms 139:17 makes such sense. His thoughts of me out number the sand, and when I awake, he’s still got his chin in His hand, thinking of me. This is not a narcissistic high, this is the wonderof that One who shook the stars off His hands when He finished; this is the One who is mindful of me…of you. Mindfulness governs what is done for the one being thought of; “what is a man that you would be mindful of him?” (Psalms 8:4)
Yet Jermiah 1 says I am “loved with an everlasting love”. Isaiah 41:9 says I am not rejected but accepted. Isaiah 43:4 declares that I am precious and honored in His sight. (Whew!) 1 Peter 2:9-10 says we are a chosen race, a Royal priesthood, a Holy Nation, a People for God’s own Possesion. We are this so we may worship Him as is right and we are now a people, but now we are a people of God who have received mercy. I am a people of God who has received His mercy. I am His child, (John 1:12-13), I delight Him, (Psalms 150:20), He has joy because of me(Zephaniah 3:17), He has plans, just as any doting Father would, (Jeremiah 29:13). He sees me as His success. I am the fruit of His labor and what He has done is good. He likes me. He likes me! He likes me!
Such Joy! He is Good!
I have been reading a book about the Psalms for my morning read while I eat my porridge. There have been many ideas that have hooked my attention, but this morning the writer expounded on the goodness of God.
Now, this is a favorite topic of mine. Some years ago while working at a youth camp, there was an incident that could have been very serious, even fatal to a camper who got in the wrong place at the wrong time. He survived with only some stitches and a lesson on the importance of following instructions.
Upon review with the staff team, of which I was part, we were discussing what had happened and what could be avoided to prevent a repeat. One of the staff breathed out, “I am so glad he didn’t die”, to which I replied, “Oh yes, God is good.” She answered back angrily, …”and if he had died…?”
At that moment I experienced one of those gifts of God that He loves to surprise us with; in my heart and mind double doors swung open in front of my understanding and I realized that even if the boy had died, God is still good! He is intimately involved in our lives by His choice, but our lives don’t effect Him. His goodness remains outside of our realm but is poured so generously over us.
I answered her in awe and wonder, “God would still be good.”
I was bruised the other day. Unthought words and unchecked attitudes were poured out on my head. But I have a big God and supportive friends. I didn’t bleed and I didn’t have to run.
I woke up Saturday to discover the disquiet and jangle from the day before was gone. I felt strong and ready for a new day. The day was an adventure and my God was so good to me to use my skills and passions, reminding me I am His tool, His child and I can look at Him no matter how I am accused. He knows the truth. The confusion and shame are distilled into wisdom and security by the work of His grace. Oh, He is good!
The intent look of the new-born,
Learning his Daddy’s face.
The anxious look of the five year old,
Preparing to run her first race.
The excited look of discovery,
As a child shares what he’s learned.
The look of the broken hearted,
When her friendship has been spurned.
The look of reproach and puzzlement,
When honesty wasn’t believed.
The look of relief and thankfulness
When earned punishment turns to reprieve.
As Your child, Lord, what do my eyes say,
When I look in a moment of calm?
Does the love that I have for You show there,
Or just my guilt for what I’ve done wrong?
Let my eyes show You how much I love you,
As I look without fear, unashamed.
The eyes of a child You have rescued,
Resurrected, redeemed and renamed.
©Marian R. Tidsbury June 8, 2002
You’re the sun in the morning,
The rain in the spring.
You’re the present at Christmas,
The song the birds sing.
You are everything,
Everything a lifetime could need.
You’re the hope that sustains me,
The love that I share.
You’re the life that flows through me,
The eternal care.
You are everything,
Everything a lifetime could need.
You’re the green in the pine tree,
The snow on the peak.
You’re the shine on the water,
The words that I speak.
You are everything,
Everything a lifetime could need.
You’re the light in the star shine,
The truth in the day.
You swing the earth’s orbit,
You hear when I pray.
You are everything,
Everything a lifetime could need.
You’re the hands that comfort;
That lifts my head up.
You’re the bread on the table,
The wine in my cup.
You are everything,
Everything a lifetime could need.
You’re the green place we rest in,
The water of peace.
The door that we walk through,
The guard of our sleep.
You are everything,
Everything a lifetime could need.
© Marian Tidsbury March 16, 2010
This morning as I drove to school, the sun was just rising over the mountains in the east as the moon was setting over the mountains in the west. The real light was rising as the reflected light was disappearing. It was beautiful as the moon was also full.
The weather changed today as well; in a matter of hours it went from balmy to freezing January weather. A rushing, roaring wind tore in from the northwest and overcame the warmth with the cold.
Tonight the sky is so clear. The stars were almost three dimensional and there were so many visible. The the moon rose over the eastern ridge and by its brilliance eclipsed the stars and stole the show. The snow shadows in the moonlight are such a pure shade of blue. It is winter, crisp, sparkling cold.
I love it!
Burned bridges, broken dreams,
Derailed thoughts, silent screams.
Tender traps, battered minds,
Hopeless hope, unseen signs.
Amazing pain,
How can it be,
That You would even notice me?
Selfish plans, choosing sin.
“I’m number one”, “I’ve gotta win”.
“My times my own”, “Don’t ask me”.
“It suits me now”,…”love is free”.
Amazing lies,
How can it be,
That You would even think of me?
Heartfelt thoughts, quiet words,
Gentle touch, a peace absurd!
Narrow path, a vision given,
Truth revealed, the way to heaven.
Amazing plan,
How can it be,
That You have even chosen me?
Brother and friend, never alone.
A heart of flesh, no longer stone.
Hope of hope, light of light,
Indwelling me, eternal life.
Amazing love,
How can it be,
That You, my God should die for me?
© Marian Tidsbury Oct.12,2001
(Last line: Charles Wesley,1707-1
Shall I call you to My side,
Hold you by My hand?
Walk the path strewn with flowers,
Delight in the beauty of the land?
Gaze in joy at tiny violets,
Grasses jeweled with dew,
Sunshot ripples on the water;
I just want to be with you.
Will you walk with me a while
If My voice and the path grow dim?
When the way vanishes into boulders,
Will you still come if things seem grim?
Will you trust and not grow fearful;
Will you wait on Me to see,
If the hard things that I ask of you
Really fall on Me?
Whether flowers or boulders: I’ll be there,
When I’m silent, hidden or seen.
Where my hand guides or footsteps to follow,
I AM, and ever have been.
My daughter, beloved, My lovely,
Your heart I can see in the night.
Your tears have I caught in a bottle,
I’ve watched you strive to do right.
Be at peace now, the real thing, not memories.
Be at rest, in My fields, at My feet.
Learn of Me, for I’m gentle and lowly,
I love you and that love is sweet.
© -Marian Tidsbury, June 3,2000
With the storm raging around me, I lose my footing once again. Voices in the wind taunt and threaten me as I struggle to catch my balance.
This journey seems endless, uphill, rocky, with ominous crags overreaching the path I am determined to follow.
There are days of sunshine and birdcalls, but lately, in this season, it is so stormy and frightening. The storms seem to wreak havoc on everything around me. Uncertainty and danger, real or imagined, is ever there.
Yet I continue forward – He is with me, walking beside me, though often silent, relentless in His desire for me to complete this journey. At times I have believed Him heartless and at other times that He has abandoned me, none of which is true, but in the storm, it is hard to distinguish my tears from the rain on my face.
And my weariness- years of walking, falling, desiring, losing hope and regaining it. Doubting myself and doubting Him, bruised feet and hands, confusion in my direction. Another rock slide comes down in front of us becoming an obstacle causing me to be forced another way, and I get lost or challenged to the point of exhaustion.
Then I look at Him – the rain runs down His face like tears, He’s as mud splattered as I am. He looks as grim as I feel as we survey this present difficulty in our way.
But then…He looks at me from under His dripping hair. His eyes are full of love and encouragement. His lips curve in a wry smile, He’s not afraid. He knows where we are going. He’s been there before. He told me we would get there.
He raises His eyebrows in query – are we going on? On over the rocks forcing us off the path and out of our way? On through trees and brush and gullies filled with torrents of flood water?
I look at Him in despair and turn to look behind. No, I want to go back, back to where at least I’ve been before – I look at Him hopefully.
He shakes His head and tells me He’ll wait here for me but He won’t retrace His steps. He only wants to move on.
Oh, heartless Lord! My hands are chapped and bleeding, my feet bruised by this path we’re walking. Don’t You understand how tired I am?
I look at His face.
He smiles gently and shows me His hands and feet.
Marian Tidsbury Jan. 12, 2007
During the Christmas season there is a banner on the church wall that says, “Glory to God in the highest”, expressing the angel’s wonder that God had become one of us; a mystery but glorious.
Absorbing the message and engaging in worship, my eyes kept being drawn back to the words, “Glory to God”. The pastor was speaking on the “Providence of God”. His explaination was that providence, rather than an escapist way to speak about God, is actually ” the hand of God in the glove of human experience”. (A quote from J.Vernon Magee)
Glory to God? – absolutely! His guidance and plan is over all I do and in every circumstance I can experience. His hand fills the glove of my life, bringing it dimension, bringing it to life and accomplishing the plan he designed for this particular “glove”.
Glory to God- announced by angels- and I get to be a part of this Glory.
“Glory to God in the highest for His indescribable gift”.
